I made my way to the meeting point near Plaza de Castilla where I could see a number of stationary cars with their hazards on. Unfortunately, I had no idea whether any of them belonged to our party so I hung around awkwardly waiting. Just then a woman in a grey BMW pulled up. Judging by the way she was dressed, she was intending to go horseriding. My instincts were right and thus I met the woman who would be my chauffeur.
We reached Monte de El Pardo in about fifteen minutes. By now I was getting a little nervous, wondering what I had let myself in for. The inevitable standing around waiting didn't help. Some of the girls changed into proper riding gear while others queued up to use the toilet-that-time-forgot. The only other Brit and I played with the beautiful, purry, furry stable cat. We waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, we were told to go find a helmet that fit us. Some people were quicker than others and a number of us, myself and the Brit included, found that there was nothing left that fit. Since we were only going for a gentle trot, the lack of a helmet wasn't overly concerning. We stood and waited a little longer. Then the horse distribution started. Those who had ridden before were being given the more lively horses. But some people with past experience wanted quieter horses. I wondered if I, the only person who had never actually been on a horse, would get lumbered with a crazy beast.
Thankfully the Brit, whose Spanish was far better than mine, explained my predicament and before long the stablehand was leading a HUGE chestnut stallion towards me. He assured me it was 'muy tranquilo' (very quiet). I reluctantly took the reins and led it through the carpark. The horse could sense that I was nervous, which was making it nervous. It got a bit jumpy, which made me jumpy! I walked it slowly towards the training paddock. The Brit, still horse-less, very nicely asked someone to help me on the horse. The man adjusted the stirrups and held one out to me. But as the horse was so tall, I couldn't get my leg up high enough. He practically threw me onto the horse.
So there I was, on a horse with no idea whatsoever how to 'start' it. I mean, where was the ignition?! One of our party explained to me in English how to make it go and how to turn it. I managed to get it to trot round the training paddock once or twice. Minutes later we were being ushered out of the paddock and onto our walk route.
Mine took the general orders being shouted by the group leader, but then, halfway up the hill, it simply stopped. Ummmmm. WTF?! I tried to kick it as advised. Nothing happened. One of the stablehands managed to chivvy it along and I got up the hill. By now most of the horses were quite far ahead. Mine, along with the Brit's, was trailing behind.
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| Monte de El Pardo from atop a horse |
For a while I was happy enough just trotting along and trying to get used to being on a horse. Soon I was comfortable enough to hold both reins with one hand, which is what most of the experienced riders were doing, and even to use my free hand to take photos. But as I drew level with one of the Spaniards (an inexperienced rider), she looked at me in disgust and exclaimed ¡Qué poco estilo! (How little style!). How rude!
Bea had taken it upon herself to look after us stragglers. She very patiently explained again and again that I had to kick the horse in the side (something I hated doing) and make clicking noises to get it into drive. It worked, but only for a while. Then my horse went back to crawling along, and even stopping. Still, it gave me a chance to snap a few photos!
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| Madrid skyline |
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| Gorgeous scenery |
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| The Brit's horse with the Madrid Sierra in the background |
Halfway into our two-hour ride, my horse and I found our stride. He was doing what I wanted, and thus I was even able to keep pace with some of the others. But then he saw a large puddle and he stopped. He quite simply refused to go past it. All twelve other horses simply walked around it, but mine?! He freaking stopped dead. The organiser had to bring her horse up behind mine and chivvy him along. Again. And once we'd passed that, he saw three cars and refused to move. That was mortifying. Thankfully, this time he wasn't the only one and with the organiser's help (again!) the bloody horse moved.
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| My horse bringing up the rear, as always! |
By now I was getting tired not to mention saddle-sore. I was losing patience with my horse's fear of everything and so I kicked him in the side and clicked at him in a bid to make him get up the hill a bit faster. Perhaps he had had enough of me because he freaking SHOT up the hill. OMFG! I was absolutely terrified! I thought I was going to hit the ground at full speed! Fortunately, I managed to yank on his reins and pull him to a stop. Or maybe he just ran out of steam. Either way, drama avoided.
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| Nearing the end of the trek |
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| One last look |
He slowly trotted back to the stables, stopping dead at the gate, the training paddock and everything else in between. Finally, we reached the official stopping point. The next problem was how the hell to dismount. The Brit asked one of the stablehands to help me. His help went as far as holding my horse's reins. I did my best to climb off the incredibly high horse. He muttered something about my lack of style (seriously, what is it with the Spanish and style?!), although as the Brit said, perhaps he should have told me what I was meant to do! As soon as my feet touched the ground, the pain kicked in. My inner thighs and my bum were in agony and my shins were bruised from kicking the horse (every time I kicked him, I got hit by the metal stirrups). And as if that wasn't enough, I had burned my chest, my face and my hands (seriously, who burns their hands?!) in the sun! I could have collapsed.
After another long wait, we finally got organised and the drivers chauffeured us to El Pardo for a LONG lunch. We stayed there eating, drinking and chatting for the next three-and-a-half hours. This was followed by a long goodbye in the street and then, finally, we were on our way home. Despite the initial nerves, I had a great day and I would definitely do it again. Although, next time I'd bring sun-block!
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